The Sexual IOU I Didn’t Know I Wrote

Really, dude? They still make men like you?

Photo by the author (NO, this is not a real text)

I met Chad (not his real name) through OK Cupid about a year ago. He was witty and flirty, starting off by talking about my profile, which showed he actually paid some attention.

The first sentence of my profile is, “I am not looking for a hookup tonight.” Throughout my profile, I emphasize that I require a genuine connection before sexy fun times commence. “If our conversation isn’t bangin’ neither are we,” I state.

Chad took that as a personal challenge, telling me how amazing he is in bed and that he could change my mind. I just laughed and flirted back. I made no guarantees of sex on a first date. And our first date didn’t actually happen, as our schedules never synced. The texts went from flirty and borderline risque to friendly and then trickled off.

We continued to text infrequently over the year- no texts between November and January, then another break until April, then I didn’t hear from him until last week, about a year after we first matched. Finally, our schedules worked out, and we arranged to meet.

We both had the afternoon free, so we met at a coffee shop in Culver City. Over the year, I had forgotten what he looked like, but I was looking forward to meeting him. He seemed friendly and funny via text.